Tuesday, September 14, 2004

The Chewbacca Defense

Yes, I know this is old, but I'm always looking for the exact text (and I'm looking for the episode on video if anyone knows which DVD it's on) so here it is. The Chewbacca Defense is from an episode of South Park where Johnny Cochran is defending a record company. We use it in dev primarily in design meetings with PMs (where there are OFTEN things said that don't make any sense). We even had a ChewbaccaDefenseException at an old company which was thrown whenever some code that should NEVER be executed got run (because it made no sense that the code was run). Anyway, enough rambling...

Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense!
Why would a Wookiee — an eight foot tall Wookiee — want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!

But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: what does that have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.

And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.

If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

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